I expect there are many of those frequenting the CW site and its Forum who are finding all the reporting on, agonising and carping about night-time curfews – plus disapproval and restrictions on when and where alcohol is allowed to be consumed – to be an increasingly irritating and depressing saga. Here is outlined an alternative, radical, approach to ponder.
The way in which Rob Key has spoken, most recently, to the press about his conversations with Ben Stokes on “the culture of the England men’s cricket team” and “the need for change” made me think there has been discussion amounting to many days of time. As neither of them are highly educated, my guess is there will have been a couple of chats lasting an hour or so which have got repeated between them endlessly as time has worn on.
A Backdrop
In his lauded book, Philosophical Investigations – published posthumously in 1953 – Ludwig Wittgenstein contends that the “bewitchment” (or captivating/mesmerising nature) of philosophical problems arise from philosophers’ misguided attempts to consider the meaning of words independently of their context, usage, and grammar – which he labelled language gone on holiday. Philosophical problems arise, he argued, when language is forced from its proper home into a metaphysical environment, where all the familiar and necessary landmarks and contextual clues are removed.
Instead, philosophers should “leave the frictionless ice and return to the rough ground of ordinary language in use.” Many examples are given of how the first false steps can be avoided, so that philosophical problems are dissolved, rather than solved. “The clarity we are aiming at is, indeed, complete clarity. And this means that philosophical problems should completely disappear.”
The interpretation in this statement in the context of the new regime for England cricketers, begun in May 2022, should be abundantly clear.
Portrait of LW
About the same time, the distinguished historian J.H. (Jack) Plumb wrote in 1950:
The great problem for philosophers and theologians of the early eighteenth century, as it has been ever since science began to dominate intellectual life, was to reconcile reason with religion…The interest in this battle of books (or thought) was not confined to the participants, for religious literature was easily, then as now, the best seller.
Portrait of Jack Plumb
Two decades later, Tom Stoppard – in his brilliant multi-faceted stage play Jumpers – satirised a moral philosopher’s obsession with the question, Does God Exist? Initially performed at the Old Vic Theatre in London in February 1972.
Portrait of Tom Stoppard
In both the latter cases, presaging the tensions and obsessions of this new regime under Brendon McCullum.
And I feel it highly likely that the playwright and cricket lover Harold Pinter, if still with us today, would be creating a stage play out of it all. This to be enjoyed on two levels, just like most of his plays, such as The Dumb Waiter (1957), The Birthday Party (1958) and The Caretaker (1960). Not a lot of adaptation needed for this one! More a matter of getting the casting right and the timing of the actors’ lines fine-tuned.
A Radical Alternative Approach
So to my suggested solution to put an end all the jabber surrounding England player curfews and alcohol. In a nutshell, I urge the team management to step onto the rough ground of laissez-faire – hands-off, allied to player self-determination. To explain:
If a selector, I would pick England players on recent form, in Tests and County matches, and drop them on lack of it. The state of being in, or out, of form being a subject about which Mike Brearley has written extensively in his well received book titled On Form (first published in September 2017). Coupled with this, I would do away – entirely – with imposed curfews and restraints/constraints on drinking alcohol.
One could – and I think one should – go further and drop a player from the Test team, even if doing satisfactorily or rather well, if he is considered not to be performing up to his existing ability – ie performing substantially below it. (Potential ability being a different matter.)
The selectors already have to make subjective judgements on a whole variety of matters when picking a Test team. This matter would be similar in nature, though not in kind, to a number of others. Such as: how will he cope when facing express deliveries, rarely encountered so far; will he be able to cope with 100,000 spectators at the MCG, most of whom will be strongly partisan; will his recent series of coaching sessions, to iron out a particular fault, stand up in match play; can he combine effectively with a newcomer at number five in the batting order?
This action in responding to a player’s under-performing relative to his capability would be taken whatever the reason(s) for it are – which needn’t, and wouldn’t, be gone into in the public domain. And here’s a key pay-off: no more inquests would arise into who stayed out too late; who drank too much booze where and when; was he really intoxicated when mixing with strangers on his way back to the hotel; were those players being aggressive in a public place; and so forth – so distracting for all and sundry.
The White Horse Pub at Parsons Green, south-west London:
a venue for Ben Stokes and Gus Atkinson on 7th June after the Lord’s Test had ended.
In this scenario, the recent de facto “tenure” system put in place by Brendon McCullum – analogous to the job security granted to university professors in the name of academic freedom – should be jettisoned; and the Central Contracts with the ECB (brought in during year 2000) be done away with. Just pay the Test players properly; and, by the way, not in a highly pyramidal form where the elite get disproportionately remunerated.
All told, this approach to life should, I believe, serve to more strongly incentivise those On The Fringe – and also those someway Beyond the Fringe – to strive for a place in the England team. In so doing, it should also help dampen the exodus to T20 Leagues around the world.
If there are fisticuffs and suchlike in pubs and nightclubs, the law of the land can take care of that, so long as there’s CCTV in place.
